Top 10 Rejected Surgeon General's Warnings

10.SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking cigarettes while
   masturbating could cause personal injury.  Recommend taking a
   class to adequately prepare for such a task.

9. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Don't take this fine print too
   seriously; the feds make us print it.
   

8. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:  100% pure tax.

7. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: No matter how hard you try, you'll
   never look as cool as Bogart.

6. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: This cigarette mascot has phallic
   facial features.

5. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:  Smoking during pregnancy can
   cause your baby to look like Herve Villacheze.

4. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:  If you actually wear the free
   clothing you get from collecting multiple empty cigarette packs,
   you will look like a moron.

3. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: The Surgeon General has determined
   that cigarette smoking may cause women to look like cheap, sleazy
   sluts.

2. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:  Keith Richards is a fluke.

1. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:  The Surgeon General has
   determined that smoking can cause you to lead a pathetic
   existence sitting in a smelly designated smoking area at your
   job, freezing your cajones off in the middle of winter.

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