| 1. |
But everybody looks funny naked!
|
| 2. |
You woke me up for that?
|
| 3. |
Did I mention the video camera?
|
| 4. |
Do you smell something burning?
|
| 5. |
(in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
|
| 6. |
Try breathing through your nose.
|
| 7. |
A little rug burn never hurt anyone!
|
| 8. |
Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
|
| 9. |
Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
|
| 10. |
But whipped cream makes me break out.
|
| 11. |
Person 1: This is your first time..right?
|
|
Person 2: Yeah.. today
|
| 12. |
(in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
|
| 13. |
Can you please pass me the remote control?
|
| 14. |
Do you accept Visa?
|
| 15. |
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
|
| 16. |
On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
|
| 17. |
And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
|
| 18. |
So much for mouth-to-mouth.
|
| 19. |
(using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
|
| 20. |
Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
|
| 21. |
(holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
|
| 22. |
Do you get any premium movie channels?
|
| 23. |
Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
|
| 24. |
(preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned
this couch!
|
| 25. |
Got any penicillin?
|
| 26. |
But I just brushed my teeth...
|
| 27. |
Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
|
| 28. |
I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
|
| 29. |
I want a baby!
|
| 30. |
So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
|
| 31. |
(in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
|
| 32. |
Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
|
| 33. |
Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
|
| 34. |
I think you have it on backwards.
|
| 35. |
When is this supposed to feel good?
|
| 36. |
Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
|
| 37. |
You're good enough to do this for a living!
|
| 38. |
Is that blood on the headboard?
|
| 39. |
Did I remember to take my pill?
|
| 40. |
Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
|
| 41. |
I wish we got the Playboy channel...
|
| 42. |
That leak better be from the waterbed!
|
| 43. |
I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
|
| 44. |
But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
|
| 45. |
Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
|
| 46. |
If you quit smoking you might have more endurance...
|
| 47. |
No, really... I do this part better myself!
|
| 48. |
It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
|
| 49. |
This would be more fun with a few more people...
|
| 50. |
You're almost as good as my ex!
|
| 51. |
Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
|
| 52. |
That you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
|
| 53. |
You look younger than you feel.
|
| 54. |
Perhaps you're just out of practice.
|
| 55. |
You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
|
| 56. |
They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
|
| 57. |
Now I know why he/she dumped you...
|
| 58. |
Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
|
| 59. |
You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
|
| 60. |
What tampon?
|
| 61. |
Have you ever considered liposuction?
|
| 62. |
And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
|
| 63. |
What are you planning to make for breakfast?
|
| 64. |
I have a confession...
|
| 65. |
I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
|
| 66. |
Are those real or am I just behind the times?
|
| 67. |
Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
|
| 68. |
Is that a hanging sculpture?
|
| 69. |
You'll stil vote for me, won't you?
|
| 70. |
Did I mention my transsexual operation?
|
| 71. |
I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
|
| 72. |
Did you come yet, dear?
|
| 73. |
I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're
fantasizing about...
|
| 74. |
A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
|
| 75. |
Does this count as a date?
|
| 76. |
Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
|
| 77. |
Hic! I need another beer for this please
|
| 78. |
I think biting is romantic- don't you?
|
| 79. |
Q: You can cook, too right?
|
|
A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)
|
| 80. |
When would you like to meet my parents?
|
| 81. |
Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...
|
|
Woman: Yourself?
|
| 82. |
Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?
|
| 83. |
Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
|
| 84. |
Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
|
| 85. |
(in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
|
| 86. |
I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
|
| 87. |
Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
|
| 88. |
Sorry but I don't do toes!
|
| 89. |
You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
|
| 90. |
Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
|
| 91. |
Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
|
| 92. |
I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer".
|
| 93. |
So that's why they call you MR. Flash!
|
| 94. |
My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
|
| 95. |
Is this a sin too?
|
| 96. |
I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
|
| 97. |
Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
|
| 98. |
Long kisses clog my sinuses...
|
| 99. |
Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
|
| 100. |
How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
|
| 101. |
You mean you're NOT my blind date?
|
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